I’ve always been very adamant about expressing love to others. I’m very sensitive to the emotions around me and I feel as though there’s enough hate in the world already. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect at this whole loving thing, but I think what’s important is the genuine effort.
I’ve been to Costa Rica twice, both times on mission trips. Although I spoke a bit of Spanish, a lot of the people I went with did not. I remember one morning I was talking to my group and telling them about my greatest tool when it comes to expressing love: The 5 Love Languages.
The 5 Love Languages is a book written by a man named Gary Chapman. Chapman claims that we give and receive love through five different means: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time.
My parents were the ones who told me about his book, not aware that it had since become a website. I looked it up because I was interested, and found that they had a quiz that you could take to figure out what your love languages were.
My main love language is quality time. This means that I feel most loved when someone is willing to spend time with me in anyway, but it also means that when plans fall through or someone is on their phone most of the time I’m with them, I feel more hurt by it than others might.
I’m very grateful for this tool and I tell nearly everyone I meet about it because I want to love people. I’m extroverted in a sense that I like to spend time with a few people and I love to be able to best express my love for them.
There are many benefits to knowing about the love languages and that’s why I try my hardest to spread my awareness of their existence.
It can really help any type of relationship, and it’s especially helped with my relationship with my mom. Her love language is acts of service, and at the time, acts of service wasn’t even on my radar. I figured she did what she did simply because she was my mother. Once I was aware of her love language and aware of my lack of that language, I was able to identify when she was trying to express her love for me. For the longest time I couldn’t tell how affectionate and thoughtful of a woman my mom was; it was my awareness of the love languages that made me close to her today. Now, if I can tell she’s overwhelmed with tasks, I’ll step in and give her a hand to express my love to her.
While I strongly recommend learning the love languages of your significant others (being your spouse, family, or anyone who has a strong impact on you), I also think the love languages are very helpful when it comes to people you aren’t familiar with or people who you cant communicate with well.
This is what I explained in Costa Rica: even if you cant speak to them, you can still love them. You don’t have to know specifically what their love language is if you put effort into expressing love in the five different ways.
I think it’s important to be willing to compromise for love.
Even though I naturally express my love through quality time, for me personally, I put effort into expressing my love in different ways. If I know what someone’s love language is, even if it’s different from mine, I can put effort into making sure they’re loved and I can tell when they are trying to express their love to me.
Knowledge is power. Use it for love.
Take advantage of this tool and take the quiz!!! (Feel free to comment your love language below too!)